10,000 Days

I’ve been alive for 10,000 days.

I don’t know what it is about big round numbers that makes us love them so, but I was sure to share the factoid of my 10,000th day in any situation where it was applicable… and a few where it wasn’t.

Another thing about big round numbers is they make one feel reminescent. I spent much of the day feeling older and more mature, and thinking back over the things I’ve learned in my thousands of days on the planet. If you’ll permit me, I’ll share some of those meandering thoughts.

You can’t win.
A very pessimistic start, no? But hear me out. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to please everyone. I like the feeling when everyone is happy with me, and have a tendency to cast off my better judgement as I chase it. A few years in the trenches of ministry have taught me that no matter what you do, someone will think you should have done it differently.

In a way, that’s been entirely freeing. When “what’s best” replaces “what everyone will like” as the top priority it sets you up for even greater success, and prepares you to respond to the nay-sayers. Knowing you’ll never win would be depressing if it weren’t offset by the fact that…

You can’t lose.
I’m a hopeless optimist. As I write this I am on a flight to Dallas. Outside my window the sun is setting behind storm clouds creating, you guessed it, a silver lining. I’m a silver-lining kind of guy. What makes the Christian faith so amazing to me is the capacity for hope it brings.

A few months ago I was working with youth in the slums of Nairobi, Kenya. Amid some of the most deplorable living conditions I’ve ever seen I witnessed some of the most unbridled hope I’ve ever encountered. My cultural upbringing suggested these should be some of the saddest people I’d meet, but they proved to possess a deep joy that I wanted to bottle and bring home to share with the suburban teens I work with.

Ultimately, we can’t lose. That’s a side-effect of Christ-following that is often overlooked. Hope is birthed by the understanding that, in the end, things will be okay. That doesn’t mean we won’t fail. We will, and we should. A mantra I’ve grown to love is “Fail faster so you can succeed sooner.” Failure is always an option, and sometimes it will end up being the best option. What makes failure palateable is recognizing that despite the setbacks in life, the promise of new life that Jesus brings is a promise that we can’t lose. Assured by that hope we are in a better place to learn that…

Failure isn’t always bad.
To be fair, I haven’t experienced a chatostrophic failure. But I’ve had plenty of tiny failures along the way. In fact, I wonder if learning from those various small to mid-size failures aren’t part of what’s helped me escape even bigger ones.

There was the night nobody showed up for youth group, which was a catalyst to helpful changes in our program. Or the group activity for which I incurred the wrath of some parents, when I had though it was rather benign. There was a couple years of poor time management. I failed time and time again to put my wife before my work. Or skewed priorities, thinking that “working for God” meant I didn’t have to put a lot of energy into my relationship with him. I still struggle with that one. It’s a constant reminder that…

Everything is a work in progress.
There seems to be some kind of misconception that if we work hard and stay focus we will “arrive” at a point in life where all is as it should be. I defy you to find one person who thinks they have “arrived.” We’re all a work in progress, as is everything we do. I recently heard a story of a pastor who got a letter 25 years after a conversation he had with a church member. He had never thought twice about the interaction, but it proved to be a pivotal moment in the other person’s life. Just further evidence that…

We don’t know what we’re doing.
There are very few moments in life where you feel absolutely certain that you are getting it right. Even in things we are sure of, there is room for doubt. I am positive that I am supposed to be a youth pastor, but I still often doubt whether I am doing a good job of it.

It’s a bittersweet arrangement, to not know what you’re doing. On one side you can feel lost or ineffective. It’s easy to beat yourself up and swear you’ll do better in the future, even though you’re not quite sure what that even means. The countless gray areas in life can quickly cover the brighter colors of life.

On the other side, we also don’t know what we’re accomplishing. Like that pastor, the tiny decisions we make each day can ripple in the lives of those we encounter for decades. So, why not give yourself the benefit of the doubt? We often imagine ways we’ve failed, why not imagine ways we’ve succeeded as well. If we believe that voice inside us that says, “You did that wrong. You wasted that opportunity.” despite ressurance from others that it wasn’t as bad as you thought, then why don’t we also let the other voice speak up? The one that says, “You can’t see it yet, but that made a difference.” Listening to that voice can also help you remember…

We don’t need to take everything so seriously.
There is a lot about life that’s absurd. From the scandalous grace of the cross, to the fact that we still don’t know what hiccups are all about. You can’t make it through a day without encountering the absurd. Just today I saw a tweet that had two links. 1 was an article about rejecting materialism, the other was a contest to win an iPad if you followed him. (For the record, I followed him. An iPad would make it more convenient to read articles about how to reject material things.)

There are some things in life that are serious. Death, for instance, is a serious matter. However, some of the best laughter I’ve ever shared has been with those mourning a loss. It’s a release, a coping mechanism, and I’ve known too many people who suppress that deeply rooted desire to laugh when the fragile grasp on “normal” is lost and we found ourelves neck deep in chaos. They always look tired.

Most criticism you receive isn’t personal. Most of the things we worry about can be solved by a good night’s rest. Most second chances are followed by third and fourth chances. And most things in life can be enjoyable as long as you’re in the right frame of mind. Just ask my friends still in the slums of Kenya.